11 weeks

We have been in Pennsylvania for a few days now. Saturday, we told Craig's parents about being pregnant. We had to change our plan multiple times because they were not able to meet us at baggage claim due to traffic. They were delayed in picking us up by a couple hours. My stomach started to get upset in anticipation. We eventually met up with them and Craig decided to tell them at the restaurant. Craig just came out and said, "So, Ashley's pregnant." They both reacted about how we thought they would. Kim cried and Mark smiled really big. Craig talked and talked and talked for the next 30 minutes non-stop about our plans. You could tell he had been holding it all in.

3 Months (12 weeks)

 It's really nice to have it out in the open more. It's not fun hiding something like this because for me, it's making me sick right now, but also because it's just fun to talk about and refer to. So far, we still have to tell Morgan. She comes in tonight, with Brian, from NYC. Craig plans on telling her right before we eat. This will conclude our video.  I skyped with Chelsea last night and she asked me to hold the baby in until she came back from Saipan in September. I told her, "Probably not."  I let Ernie know yesterday via Facebook, and plan on calling my Grandma Schultz, Dad, and Melissa today.

News about the decision not to indict Darren Wilson came last night. It's very disappointing, disheartening, infuriating, and kind of numbing. It's also very scary to see people's reactions and realize how alive racism still is today. It's definitely taken on new forms. A lot of people are not seeing their responses and criticisms as racist, and it makes me wonder if in the 60's if people who were against slavery but supported segregation & Jim Crow laws didn't think they were racist. It's frustrating to see protesters get lumped in the same category as the rioters. Or, supporting the movement means you support looting/rioting. We need to take the time to see the complexity of the issue. It's so sad to see Ferguson destroyed and then have people outside the community shaking their finger. When you are repressed and your power is taken away, you turn on yourself and your own community to establish some kind of surface of power that makes you feel self worth. Of course it's not effective or helpful, but that's a pattern that has been repeated in communities all throughout history. I just hope and pray for something better.

10 weeks

Last Saturday, we told my family that we were pregnant. I was so excited I was almost shaking. We were having my birthday party at my Mom's. After we ate potato soup, salad, and cheesy biscuits, my Mom brought over the cake.  Craig and I had talked about all of this previously and it was his job to record everything with my phone. It was perfect that it was during "Happy Birthday," because it was less suspicious. My Mom made a comment like, "Oh don't get me in the picture," because she was worried about how she looked. I tried to take the focus away and everyone started singing. That was probably the first time since I was a kid that I really enjoyed being sung to for my birthday. Right before I blew out the candles, I paused until it got quiet and yelled, "I'm pregnant!" I heard a couple laughs, and then, "Wait, are you serious?" Followed by my Mom and sister screaming. My Mom jumped up and started repeatedly kissing my face, not caring about being on camera anymore! And lots of hugs and congratulations followed.

It was funny to see my Mom so excited. It was about 5 minutes later and she was zipping around the house clearing the table and putting things away. You can tell she had a surge of energy from the excitement. It felt good to see her so happy and to know Craig and I caused it. Charly and my Mom started talking about the baby shower and other plans.

I told everyone it was mostly just a relief to let them all know how sick I was feeling. I actually think it's starting to calm down, but it will still come in waves. Water will still upset my stomach occasionally and I have to be careful not to cough to hard or poke myself in the throat while brushing my teeth or I'll get off a dry heave spell.

I let my boss know at work on Monday, and he was happy for me. I'm sure he would be regardless, but I'm also sure he's glad our due date is in the summer. A couple other students ended up finding out, but overall I'm feeling awkward about bringing it up. We're having a potluck on Friday which is more social, so I plan on telling some more people then.

We had our first official midwife appointment on Tuesday. It was a lot of initial questioning and background info. They did more blood work, but the exciting part was hearing the heartbeat. It was a bit nerve racking at first because it took her about a minute or two to find it. When we could finally hear it, it was such a relief. At the ultrasound, we could see it, but that was 1 month ago. So it was nice to have an up to date confirmation that things were going well. She said the heartbeat sounded normal and healthy. I really like Amy, my midwife, so far. She's calm and quiet, which I think will suit me well.

In two days, we'll be in Pennsylvania telling Craig's parents. I'm SO ready for everyone to be in the know so we can openly talk about it. Morgan called me last week and it was so hard to answer when she asked what had been going on lately. It's mostly been pregnancy stuff, but I couldn't say that. So, I talked about work, of course. I feel really blessed that things have worked out perfectly so we can tell everyone in person. It's fun to surprise everyone while physically being with them. It's not something we have experienced much in the past. It's mostly by telephone or skype, so we'll really treasure this time.

9 weeks

We are one week from announcing the news to my family that I'm pregnant. Two weeks from announcing it to Craig's. It has actually been more difficult keeping quiet about it than I imagined. There have been times I've felt really sick and just emotionally drained. I felt like I had to push through and act "normal" so I wouldn't cause concern for those who didn't know. This is really hard at school. However, I know that once people know (especially my students) will probably begin to attribute some of my behaviors solely to being pregnant.  Well, I guess we'll see.

Weeks 6 & 7 were the worst so far as far as "morning" sickness. I never came to the point of actually throwing up, but just heavy waves of nausea all throughout the day.  I've definitely had more aversions than cravings. Aversions: tuna, desserts with rich ingredients, heavy/creamy foods, coffee/tea, & water. I seriously don't get water. It has no taste or smell. A few cravings I've had here and there: starbursts, frozen fruits, blow pops, & salty foods like potato chips. Most of the times I am not craving too much sweet stuff, and if I am fruit usually does the trick. So, I'm thankful for that.

Craig and I met with the birthing center last week, and feel like it went well. Craig has some research to do on Monday as far as figuring out cost of hospital vs. birthing center. I did this research last year, but it was under a different insurance company and remember being really stressed out about it all. I would like to make another appointment with my GP before we make the final decision, but am having difficulty getting her to return my calls for an appointment. This is frustrating and not exactly swaying me towards going with a hospital. I needed to get a hold of her last weekend for a question because of an issue I was having, but had to wait until Monday. I don't typically feel this medically needy, but appreciate that the midwives/nurses at the birthing center have been more readily available. I had some blood tested Friday for my hormone levels and they called me Saturday morning to let me know they were above optimal. This helped me to relax for the weekend.

Here are some bump pictures from the past few weeks: