I did it. Yesterday was my last day of school and I really feel like I can be excited now. It was all about just making it to the end of school for so long. People kept asking me if I was "ready" or "excited." I didn't feel like I fully could be until I was on summer break. Today starts week 37 and if I get to be choosey, I'd just like to have this week to get some things done (and relax a bit). Then Week 38 is go time for me! However, that doesn't mean it will happen. I could be pregnant for another month for all I know.
My hip pain has gotten better, but has moved over to the left. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to what causes it as far as my activity goes. I could be sitting all day and it may or may not hurt the next. I could have a really active day on my feet and it feels awesome the next. But a week later I do the same thing and it hurts. So, I try to stick with something in the middle, but that isn't even guaranteed to make me pain free. I'll go through spurts where I'm pain free for a week and then it will randomly start acting up again. I'm just glad it hasn't gotten so bad that I need crutches.
We've got our garden pretty much squared away along with the nursery. This next week I'd like to tackle a few freezer meals, and just keep the house organized and picked up. Craig has school until the end of the week which will give me some time to myself. I plan on soaking it up because this will be it for a long while.
Craig and I went out to eat at Grad School the other night to celebrate my last day of school and we were talking about being curious if the baby was a boy or a girl. I know I will be in love with our baby just as much no matter what it is, but I really want to use the girl name we've picked out! I love both of the names, and they both have sentimental value but the girl name is one I've thought about for a long time. I still think that for our next pregnancy we'll wait to find out the baby's sex, but it is hard to wait at the same time.
Some of my students kept asking me what I planned on doing this summer. I would just say, "Oh, just learning how to be a mom. You know, getting pooped and puked on all summer." So, I definitely know it's not going to be bliss the whole time, but there are some things I'm excited about:
1. Carrying the baby in the wrap while I pick things from the garden or go to the park and such.
2. Craig's family coming to meet the baby and getting to spend a week with them. Their visits here have had to be shorter, so it will be nice to have the extra time.
3. Seeing Craig hold and interact with the baby. It will be nice to see this because I feel like it's been mostly me for obvious reasons.
4. Watching our kitties become friends with the baby.
5. Spending time at my Mom's with my family in Branson. It's kinda cool that Craig and I are taking part in making the family bigger.
As far as labor goes, overall I'd say I'm not as nervous as I thought I would be. I think I've done a good job of staying away from negative stories and thoughts by surrounding myself with positive ones, but also educating myself on labor and delivery. Our birthing class was awesome and I feel like it's really prepared us. Of course, I do think about being transferred or undergoing a c-section from time to time, but I don't feel it's something that's consuming me. I know I would have a difficult time if that's the outcome, but know I'd just have to let myself be sad about it in order to accept it. Some people say the only thing that matters is a healthy baby. While I believe that the most important thing is a healthy baby, I believe the mother's emotions about the birth do matter significantly. It's something that I've been preparing for and thinking about even before I got pregnant. So, I have tried to keep a balanced approach with staying positive about a natural unmedicated birth while knowing that if more serious interventions are necessary I'll allow myself to feel what I feel in order to accept it.
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| 9 months! If there ends up being a 10 month picture... I might not be smiling in that one! |
